Experiences

Lately, I've been experiencing a lot of new things. Some which are good and some that are bad, but mostly its been good so far and I'm enjoying it.

Got two midterms next week T_T and a paper due Monday. Just gotta keep going I can't give up.

Edit: To my edit of my last post, in case if no one reads the older posts, the best types of hugs are the ones that you aren't expecting ^_^.

Friends and Family

I think that we take friends and family for granted. Since we all get caught up in our own little worlds and it seems that no one would really care about what happened to us. Although that's not true, there are people whom care for you. All you got to do is just talk to those people and soon enough you'll find out that they care about you and will support you.

I guess it took me a long time before I figured that out. Since for a good portion of my life I was a loner and had very few friends that I didn't think would care about me. As for my family its kind of difficult talking to them since you don't really know if they'll understand you or even know what your talking about. It was probably around junior year in high school where I finally figured out that no matter how bleak your situation may be there are people who care.

People still care about you, all one has to do is just ask them for advice, help, or support and they'll probably be more than willing to do so. For me I would help any of my friends as best as I could if they were going through some tough times, but even if I don't know what's going on I still care about my friends. Just knowing that there are others out there who care about you is enough to help one through tough times, even if you don't feel like talking about it to others.

Surprisingly, one can count on a lot of support from your family when you need it. Even though at times it doesn't seem like it. Your family cares about you.

On another note midterms are here again T_T. Well I just took one today and I think I didn't do that well on it >_<. One down 2 more midterms left before finals T_T. Oh well, just gotta make it through it and then its Spring Break :D.

Edit: Found out first hand that hugs do actually help :D and I think I'll be giving out more hugs too to help others out too.

Kindness...

Kindness...something that is hard to come by in this world. This is something that I've been thinking about after talking with my dad on my way back to the dorms, about how showing some kindness can go a long way in this world.

Its not that difficult to be nice to other people. Its hard to understand how there are people in this world who can be mean. If more and more people could just show kindness in this cruel world the world would not seem so cruel. Only if people could show at least some miniscule kindness to others, and not expect anything in return then the world may be a better place.

Perhaps the reason why people aren't compelled to show any kindess to anyone is that they feel that its much better to be mean in order to face the troubles of the world. It also seems that the only time people would show kindess to others would be to ask something of them. This would be the insincere kindness. Call me naive, but I feel that being nice or kind to people and not expect anything in return for being so kind is the sincere sort of kindness. Although I'm not really sure if by me saying that makes it be true, since I may just be fooling myself into thinking this. Oh well, I' guess I'll try my best to be nice to people since a little bit of kindness can go a long way.

Many people may argue that there are a variety of ways that people can be mean. People could perform an action and not know that as a result of that action that they were mean to some people. Or that people's apathy could result in the lack of kindness. There are probably more I just can't think of them at the moment. The biggest reason why I think that people don't show kindness that much is that if you do then you'll get stepped on by everyone. That may be the case, I guess that's why nice guys finish last, but even so a little bit of kindness might just make someone's day.

Oh yeah, Valentine's Day is coming up. Don't forget to hug that special someone or special friend on that day :P.

Happy Chinese New Years

Wow, I posted a lot of depressing posts lately. Well I guess time for a happy/cheerful one to balance it out.

Starting to feel better than did before, which is good. Its good to know that there are people I can talk to if I got stuff on my mind, thanks guys. On top of that my midterms are over. Anyways...today is Chinese New Years so Happy Chinese New Years everyone!

Edit: I got some new headphones and they rock!! :D

Happiness is...(con't)

I guess I'll expand a little more on my previous post after reflecting on it for a while. So here's another warning that this is probably going to be a depressing post. So read only if you care to read or are just really bored, its up to you.

Since I my last post I've been thinking about the importance of happiness to me and to people in general. Is happiness so important that people are willing to do anything to ensure their own happiness? Or would people forgo their own happiness to make sure that others around them were happy and not sad. For me I try to make sure people are happy, or at least try to cheer them up. Although, lately I've been doubting myself, do I just delude myself by saying that I try to ensure the happiness of others so that I dont' feel sad as a result of their saddness. I don't know, perhaps it just that lately it seems to me that I've been letting some people down and that I don't mean it. Some may say that I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but I guess I beat myself up over letting someone down is because they are my friend and I hate letting friends down.

As I mentioned in my last post I've still been having some ups and downs, but I think that I'm still down. Although, is saddness all that bad? Since my last post I questioned why do people label saddness as such a bad thing. Lately to me the saddness doesn't seem like a bad thing. All the bad things in the world don't seem as bad anymore. This feeling is a sort of apathy I guess. A feeling that one knows that something bad is going to happen, yet one does nothing to avoid it they let it happen and accept the consequences without any feeling. For example, since I've been letting so some of my friends down or annoying them I thought that they would abandon me and then I would be a loner once again. When I thought of this I wasn't sad, since I was already sad, I was sort of amused by this. Since I would be able to experience the life of a loner again. I think that when I look back on this post when I'm not sad/down, I'm going to be apalled at what I wrote. I should be upset and trying to make amends with the friends that I've hurt, and yet I don't feel a thing, its scary. Since friends help fill the emptiness of the void in one's life. So if I've hurt you, let you down, or just been a bother to you I'm sorry.

You don't have to be concerned since I'm only ranting and reflecting. I'll probably get better eventually, which will probably be soon since I finished my last midterm yesterday. So whatever, I should probably get back to working on my chem lab stuff. Later.