Growing up

I find it interesting that when we are kids we wish to be older, but yet once we reach those older years we wish to be younger. Although the process of getting older is something that cannot be avoided, but I believe that one is as old as one feels. Which means that sometimes I feel really old, and sometimes really young.

I suppose what brought up this post was that since I'm getting older and moving on to new things, such as pharmacy school. I feel as though that I am becoming an adult. Sometimes I find myself playing video games less and less, because one time I played the demo for Batman Arkam Asylum the PS3 controller felt weird in my hands when I picked it up to play. To some extent I guess this is a good thing, but I suppose I find it a little sad that I'm slowly losing my inner child.

I'll probably post more on this subject as I reflect upon it more, but that's what I got so far.

Pain

Pain is an interesting thing. It usually results due to an injury, whether the injury is physical or not. Since one can feel pain from a physical injury such as scraping one's knee, and one can feel pain from heartaches or injuries to the heart.

As a kid I was very active, I would run and jump about playing tag or playing on the monkey bars. The result of this was that I usually got hurt and felt the pain from my injury. I was no stranger to physical pain, the only thing was that as I got older my injuries also increased. Just as one time I broke my right hand after getting mad and punching a wall, if your a new reader and don't know the full story you can ask me later. So now whenever I get hurt physically I don't really mind it since whenever me and my friends go out I'm usually prone to getting hurt first. I find getting injuries more of a annoyance since I have to allow my body to heal it and keep it from being infected.

However the other pain which puzzles me is the kind that is not physical. This pain can stem from within usually. Upon reflections on this I find it that many people would consider the non-physical pain a lot more painful and that it lasts longer. I've felt a lot of this pain since I'm the nice guy that the cruel world pushes around so I'm usually disappointed in human nature since sometimes I witness the worst of it, i.e. selfishness, manipulation, etc. It pains my heart sometimes that I know that such things exist within people.

In this year I've felt a lot of pain and despair. Haha I probably sound pretty depressing, but that is the truth. Despite all of the pain I've gone through I won't give up, I'll find my own path through this pain and endure it all. I'll proudly display all the scars to show how I've survived and endured.

Views of this World

Haven't posted anything in a while so might as well do a post before I go to sleep. Guess I'll discuss something that's been on my mind a lot. It goes something like this...

How I seem to continue to witness all the bad things in this world, and that I have to put up with it all. Many things in this world seem so ugly and sad, perhaps I've become a cynical man. That could be true. Unfortunately, my kind nature continues to hope that there is still some good left. It is this kind nature that causes me disappointment whenever I am proved that the world is still cruel and that there is no exceptions or changes.

Sometimes I wonder why I hold onto my kind nature when the world is going to just smack me in the face. I'm surprised that I've held onto it for this long. I could have been consumed by what this world represents and act like the rest of society. If I were consumed by this world's plight then it would probably be much easier to live and survive and living would be less painful.

I continued to wonder why should I carry on with a kind nature when people like me would probably be taken advantage of, put down, or laughed at. I was really puzzled until I read a bible verse that said "do not become overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." This helped me reaffirm my beliefs in my kind nature and give me strength to carry on.

Despite all the pain and suffering that I have had to endure this year and previous years, I will endure all of it and overcome it all. If I'm battered and beaten I'll continue to stand up and walk my path. I'll let all the world see me and my scars from my pain and show them that I can live and succeed.