Existence...

Haven't been posting as much as I would like since I've been busy with school and I feel bad since I hope to look back at my past posts and read them to gain a better understanding of myself. Since I figure reading a bunch of my rants, raves, and reflections may bring some insight to me as to why I did something or why something was bothering me so much.

Well anyways, something that I've been thinking about lately is existence. I know that this may sound kinda Narutoish or emo, take your pick, but for me at times I feel myself questioning myself whether or not if I do exist in this world. I know that such a question is silly since the quoting the famous philosopher Rene Descartes "I think, therefore I am." From this I suppose we're supposed to assume that we have a conscious as a result of our thought and from this we can perceive our environment and interact with it.

Although there are times where I'm walking in a crowd of people and feel that I'm a part of the sea of faces and bodies. Oddly enough, since coming to college at times some people ignore me and continue to talk to other people. To this I feel invisible and I hate that feeling, since being a loner most of my life and experiencing what its like to interact with many different people and having to not be shy. I enjoy hanging out with people, I enjoy talking, I enjoy just sitting around and enjoying people's company.

I suppose that in some ways I'm like Naruto (for those of you who do not watch anime I apologize) I strive to get the acknowlegement of people since most of my earlier life was spent almost alone. To have someone who ignores you and puts you down makes one feel like nothing. Also to know only loneliness for a very long time is a very dark and very scary place. I suppose that when I'm with my friends they acknowledge me by hanging out with me or talking to me.

Anyways I'm not too sure how much sense I made with this post since I'm tired from work and tired of school. Later.