Mind Wanderings...

Haven't been posting for a very long long while. In the span of time that I haven't posted my mind has comtemplated about many things and I'm going to try to see if I can remember most of them.

It's hard for me to believe that in a month and two days I'll be 21. Actually its kinda hard for me to believe that I'm as old as I am. Since this past weekend I saw my kid brother have a screen name with the numbers 94 after it. I'm wondering what's the 94 mean? So I ask him and he tells me its when he was born, and I was like crap that's right. After that moment I felt really old, even though I know that I'm 8 years older than my kid brother. More moments that make me feel old is that when I'm at my club meetings since one club I'm in, Circle K (not the gas station), there are a lot of freshmen. Its kinda interesting to see their inexperience of some things compared to my experiences. Although it only contributes to myself feeling really old.

At times I'm both axious and excited about my birthday in a month and two days. One thing that I'm excited about is that I'm turning 21 and be able to buy alcohol and gamble in casinos. The thing I'm worried about is the alcohol part, since I know that drinking is always a part of college and stuff like that, but many times have I been pressured to drink and been able to not drink. So I suppose I'm afraid of drinking when I don't want to drink but "forced" or "obligated" into drinking. I know that it sounds ridiculous, but that's how I feel about drinking.

Another thing that has been recently on my mind and I've probably talked about in a few past posts before is about being "nice." For me being nice to people has been important for me since I know just how mean the world is. So I want to show others that there are few people who haven't fallen to the cruel world. Although lately I've been wondering why should I always be the nice guy when most of the time I get crap thrown back in my face just for being nice? I'm probably known by many people as the shy, nice guy. Which was evident in most of my junior high and high school yearbooks, since many people seemed to write the same thing.

So I'm not sure if I should stop being nice entirely because it seems this cruel world accepts mean people and abhors the nice people. Also something I think I heard from a movie or something, was that when people first meet you if you're nice you won't be remembered at all except for being that "nice guy" from whereever. Now if you were a jerk and mean or whatever you would be remembered better. Not sure if that came out right but hopefully you got the concept.

Perhaps I'm becoming a little more cynical because of my job, since I work with people. At TGIF I'm a busser and I clear the dishes, and at times people just love to place blame on me for the lousy service. I tell them what I have to tell many people who've been mean to me, and that's I'll let your server know. Its kinda like the movie "Waiting" where its hard to believe how you can be mean to a complete stranger, let alone a stranger who is providing you a service. I believe, and I know this will sound biased, but that many people are guilty of the fundamental attribution error. Which is a psychology term that means that people immediately place blame on another thing or person without stopping to think about the circumstances surrounding that event. For example at TGIF I get a typical pissed off customer telling me that they haven't been served for a long time. In this example the customer is guilty of the fundamental attribution error because they are probably going to blame the server for the bad service when it could be the server is so busy because the restaruant is super busy. So the server is being blamed for not providing adequate service to that customer. I always find it amusing how there are so many pissed off customers compared to the understanding customers. From my entire time working at TGIF I've probably had 3 parties that were nice and understanding, the rest were pissed off jerks who yelled at me and the server for the lousy service. It really takes a lot not to yell back at the pissed off customers and just take their yelling.

So I suppose I'm hesitant in trying still be nice in a world that doesn't really seem to care about you. Maybe I'll give a try for a little longer just so I don't become one of those mean jerks out there.