Self Evaluation...

An interesting thing I find myself doing whenever I'm really bored is that I evaluate myself. Evaluting myself according to how others would view me and the opinions they might form from my actions and such. Yea I know its kinda weird but for most of high school I was so concerned with what other people thought of me. I suppose I kind of want to show myself that it doesn't matter what others think as long as I'm myself. I do apologize for grammatical errors or other things but its about 3:10 am and I felt like blogging.

One thing that I consistently notice myself doing is that I kind of have poor conversational skills since sometimes my brain isn't working as fast as it should so I cannot come up with the appropriate things to say. Its only after the conversation is over that I'm able to come up with a good reply, kinda like how you come up with a great come back to an insult after the insult has been said and the insulter has left. Unfortunately, some of my conversations do not last that long and end up in what most people call awkward silences, but I call comfortable silences. So as a result of this I think it would make people prone to bring along others when they are with me so that there are little periods of silences. Although I'm not sure if I kinda weird some people out because of that. The sad thing is that I've kind of been able to identify when my conversation is slowly dying with the person I'm talking with. So one thing I hope to get better at is improving my conversational skills.

My level of shyness has been decreasing which is good since now I'm in an environment that is full of new people. Although I do have some shyness still in me, but there are times where I just hang back and just enjoy the mood/atmosphere. I still do have some trouble approaching new people but I'm slowly getting a little better.

There are probably more things about me that I have yet to notice about me, but I'll probably revisit this topic again. Keep in mind this is how I think other people might view me, I may be wrong or right. Anyways I'm getting too tired and gonna go to sleep. night...