What makes us sad?

Sadness. What usually makes one feel that way. It can be a number of things, a bad day, fight with parents, fight with siblings, doing bad on tests, not getting the job, messing up. Many times from that sadness one might feel depressed as a result. What makes one feel depressed? According to modern day science its a result of the lack of neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine. Or its just how we convince ourselves that we are all alone with that problem. A quote that Michael J. Fox said that I try to remember is "Choose to be happy." Since no one can make you feel the way you do except yourself. In truth I know that its difficult to choose to be happy when one is in the depths of despair. Since a couple of years ago I was depressed, since when I recall what I did and how I acted it actually fits the criteria of depression. So I do know that feeling. I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel depressed at times. There are times I just feel like crap and its difficult to get out of it.

I guess I'm writing this post because I saw a video on youtube about depression and suicide. Rather the person who uploaded it talked about how everyone has different crap we have to deal with, but in his video he said that even if you feel that no one gives a f*@k about you that he gives a f*@k about you. I was quite moved by this since that is exactly how I feel when I feel like crap, that there isn't anyone who cares about me. This is further exacerbated by the fact that I'm 400+ miles away from good friends and family. Since I do think when I'm feeling down "who cares about me at all?" Also another thought is "would anyone care if I were gone" such thoughts would only lead to suicide because the feeling of being alone is really painful and one would want to make the pain end. Again I would be lying if I said I didn't think about suicide. Although something that keeps me going is because I know I've endured so much physical and emotional pain already that I can continue on facing all the pain head on. So to my readers for those who check up on my blog if you feel down, or like crap and feel that there is no one to turn to then I care about you. I care because you take time out of your busy day to read my nonsensical thoughts and ridiculous rants. I care because I don't want to see anyone get hurt because of their sadness, sense if I knew if any of my friends or family were sad I would try my best to cheer them up because I like to see smiles and hear laughter rather than frowns and sobs. So one thing that I think of when I start to feel down and what I saw on the youtube video was "Smile you're alive." Such a humbling thought is enough to make me smile because I know that everyone has different things they have to deal with and it might be worse than whats happening to you, but each day you have a choice in how you feel. So to each day wear a smile when you wake up and sleep with a smile as well. Goodnight